Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to move forward? You set big goals, start with enthusiasm, and then—somehow—you find yourself back where you started. Maybe you procrastinate, doubt yourself, or avoid taking action altogether. This is self-sabotage, and it’s one of the biggest barriers to personal and professional transformation.
But here’s the truth: Self-sabotage isn’t a flaw—it’s a learned response. And that means it can be unlearned.
As a Master Healer and Transformational Wellness Coach, I’ve helped many clients recognize and release the hidden patterns keeping them stuck. In this post, we’ll explore why we sabotage ourselves, how to identify it, and most importantly, how to break free.
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage happens when we unconsciously act in ways that block our success, happiness, or growth. It’s not that we don’t want to change—we do. But deep down, something is telling us it’s not safe, not possible, or not meant for us.
Common Signs of Self-Sabotage:
✔️ Procrastinating on important tasks
✔️ Setting unrealistic expectations, then feeling like a failure
✔️ Perfectionism—never feeling “ready” to start
✔️ Negative self-talk or constant self-doubt
✔️ Fear of success—holding back when things start going well
✔️ Overcommitting or creating unnecessary stress
✔️ Avoiding discomfort, even when it’s necessary for growth
One of my clients, Lisa, struggled with self-sabotage in her career. Every time she got close to a promotion, she would second-guess herself, overwork, and burn out before she could step into the opportunity. Through our work together, she realized that deep down, she feared visibility and success—because she believed success would bring judgment and pressure. Once we uncovered and rewrote that belief, she finally stepped into her next-level self with confidence.
Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage isn’t random—it’s a subconscious defense mechanism.
🔹 Fear of Change: Even when change is positive, it can feel unfamiliar. The brain prefers what’s known and comfortable.
🔹 Limiting Beliefs: Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve success” can drive sabotaging behaviors.
🔹 Fear of Failure (or Success!): Sometimes, we’re afraid to fail—other times, we fear the responsibility that comes with success.
🔹 Unresolved Emotional Wounds: Past experiences shape our beliefs about what’s possible for us.
🔹 Lack of Self-Worth: If we don’t truly believe we deserve something, we’ll unconsciously push it away.
Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage
If you recognize yourself in these patterns, don’t judge yourself. Awareness is the first step to transformation. Here’s how to shift from stuck to empowered:
1. Identify Your Sabotaging Patterns
Ask Yourself:
• Where in my life do I feel stuck or frustrated?
• What habits or thoughts show up when I start making progress?
• Do I have any repeating cycles of self-sabotage?
Example: “Every time I get close to a breakthrough in my business, I suddenly feel exhausted and lose motivation.”
2. Uncover the Root Cause
Most self-sabotage is linked to an old belief, fear, or emotional wound.
Try This Exercise:
• Ask: What am I afraid might happen if I succeed?
• Journal: What did I learn about success, failure, and self-worth growing up?
• Notice: Do I feel guilty or uncomfortable when things go well for me?
Example: “I realized I hold back in relationships because I fear being vulnerable. I learned early on that vulnerability can lead to pain.”
3. Rewire Your Mindset
Once you identify the fear or belief driving the sabotage, rewrite the narrative.
Mindset Shift Example:
Old Belief: “If I succeed, people will judge me.”
✅ New Belief: “My success inspires others, and I am allowed to shine.”
Use affirmations, visualization, and energy work to reinforce this new belief.
4. Take Aligned Action (Even When It’s Scary)
Overcoming self-sabotage requires conscious, intentional action.
• Set small, achievable goals to build confidence.
• When fear shows up, acknowledge it—but don’t let it control you.
• Surround yourself with supportive people who reflect your growth.
One of my clients, David, always avoided public speaking because he feared criticism. We worked on reprogramming his mindset and taking small steps—first, speaking in a small group, then on a panel. He now leads corporate workshops with confidence!
5. Trust Your Transformation
Healing self-sabotage is a process. Be patient, celebrate your wins, and trust that you are capable of lasting change.
REMEMBER!!!
• You are worthy of success, love, and happiness.
• You have the power to rewrite your story.
• You are not your past—you are your potential.
✨ Are you ready to break free from self-sabotage? If this resonates, I’d love to support you. Book a session to step into your empowered self today.
In love & light, Laura
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